The power of the love language

The power of the love language

Alaysia Brown, Lifestyles Editor

Love is quite possibly the strongest feeling any human may experience. We long for it, we search for it, we find it, and we lose it. The inner most part of all of us that craves understanding unites us and makes us one. Maybe losing love wouldn’t be so common if we took the time to understand how others need to be loved. 

In 1992 author Gary Chapman published a book exploring the way we communicate with love titled The Five Love Languages. He revised and republished the book in 2015 and the idea of love languages began to gain traction. The book suggests there are five ways in which a person can prefer their love to be expressed. 

Words of Affirmation using words to build up the person you are with. This could be giving compliments or simply letting people know how much they mean to you. Simply changing the way you ask something of your partner can make your love for them more apparent. 

Gifts– giving small or large tokens to your affection to the person you are with. This often lets the person know you are thinking of them without telling them out loud. Giving your partner flowers or candy can show them that they are consistently on your mind. 

Acts of Servicehelping out the person you are involved with. This could be everyday tasks like doing chores around the house or it could be bigger things like helping them with a work project to take tasks of their stress plate. 

Quality Timegiving your partner your undivided attention. This could be just spending time on the couch or attentively listening to them rant about their day at work. Simply being present in the moments with the person you love with tools like eye contact and nodding.  

Physical Touch– this one is quite self-explanatory, simply touching your partner in a loving way. This can be with hugs, kisses, or hand holding. The important part of this language is being intentional in the way you touch your partner. 

Chapman also started a website (linked below) where he goes more in depth on what each love language can entail. He gives applications for each language and highlights how they show up in everyday life. The website includes quizzes for teen, singles, and spouses to find out what their love languages are. 

Learning how your partner prefers to be loved is at the foundation of any good relationship. Love languages can give insight into how to comfort those you love whether it be in a romantic relationship or a platonic one. 

For more info on love languages:  

Love Language Quiz for teens: