Disclaimer: This is meant to be humorous.

Week 2. Blackman vs. McCallie. We all know that game was a true nail-biter, but Blackman came out on top. Some say it was the players, some say it was the coaches, others say it was luck . . .

But I know the real reason we won. I had on my American flag boxers, and thus a new superstition was born. You better believe I did my laundry every Thursday night to have those boxers ready for game time, cause I wasn’t about to be responsible for another loss. Every superstition has an origin, whether they are known or not, but as long as you follow the superstitions, you are guaranteed to win. Every time.

Clear skin. Full heart. Can’t lose: Every pimple on your face is just another way the other team can outscore you. Slap on a hearty dose of Proactive before the big game and you are sure to win.

Set Fire to Your Clothes: Go ahead and burn all the clothes you wore that day because you’re #MoneyTeam and the cash trip was burning hole in your pocket.

The Playlist: Don’t listen to Young Thug. That’s for people who like to lose.

The Smell of Victory: Before every game, douse yourself in a nice bath of Hollister SoCal cologne. You were a winner in 7th grade and you’re a winner now.

Pregame selfies: Anybody can post a pic on instagram before the big game, but the caption is what will seal the dub. If you don’t use the 100 emoji with #Cashtrip, then you clearly should be kicked off of the team for intentionally throwing the game.

Follow these pregame tips and tricks and your team should win every single Gold Ball you can dream of.